And you would never guess it but I am totally excited, seriously, I am!!!
For me it means answers. I will finally find out what is going on inside my pelvis and abdomen.
I haven't had a laparoscopy since Jan 2010, with Dr. W back in Taree, wow that was a while ago, and my-oh-my how things have changed between now and then!!
In the last two years my pain has increased in intensity and grown to other areas.
It used to be very specific and localised with pain occurring sporadically throughout the week (maybe 2-4 days). Where as now it is pervasive, not constricted to just the pelvis and the pain is constant with frequent strong spikes in pain.
In my last lap Dr. W excised most of the endo, but not all of it due to the locality of the cells. He didn't feel the need to go further so left it there.
This detail in combination with a comprehensive view of how things have changed and developed, medically, in the last two years gives a reasonably clear indication of what we might expect to find tomorrow.
Dr. V, my pelvic pain specialist, has talked with me about the possibility that there is a large chance that the endo, cysts and adhesion's that they will find will be quite serious and extensive. With findings not just in my pelvis and peritoneum, but also on the bladder, bowels, uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, vaginal walls and nerves.
If this were to be the case they would take out as much as possible, sew me up and talk to me about going back in at a later date to remove more cells, or take out/ resection organs.
Upon being asked if I would like them to do further surgery my answer would be hell yes!!! Even if they come tell me they need to take an ovary or both, I would still say yes...what is the point of keeping damaged organs? I have dealt with the issue of parenting and I will happily give up my ovaries if it means less pain!
After all of that, I will be allowing my body to heal; focusing on hormonal treatments and keeping an eye on things if in need of further surgery down the track (cutting out all of the cells should buy me a fair amount of time in the reduction of pain levels).
On the other side of the coin our expectations may be completely wrong and we might find that I have some endo, cysts and adhesion's, but not many. In this occurrence they would take out all of the cells and stitch me up. We would then discuss other possibilities to the cause of my pain, and investigate the means to relieve the pain... it could turn out to be neuropathic pain, and in this case we would look at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Spinal Cord Stimulation Therapy.
Regardless of the findings this surgery needs to happen, my Dr's have been dancing around it for a while now. Instead of agreeing to it, they put me on higher doses of pain killers, played around with my hormones (can anyone say synthetic menopause) and prematurely got me to investigate the Spinal Cord Stimulation Therapy and implant.
The reason why the surgery is so vital is because it is really the ONLY way we are going to find out what is going on and if/ how much physical damage there is!!!!
From there we have steps forward for both outcomes.
If I were to be given a choice of the two, honestly, I would choose option A.
Because that means that my pain was actually real; that it isn't a problem with my nerves misfiring; that they can excise the cells and remove damaged areas; that I will get some pain relief without sourcing other means.